On Anger in America
*featured on The Chaos Section Poetry Project
During my step work
I was met with a question about anger…
Oh, I know anger.
I always used to say
“I’m not an angry person”
Despite the injustices I have suffered.
I didn’t let myself feel anger
Until I realized that I had every right to be angry.
Until the man I loved
Used me for sex.
Until my dad, my oldest friend
Sexually harassed and publicly humiliated me
To make a point
And to punish me
For my gender and sexual identity.
For who I am and who I love.
Until my mom let my stepdad
Chase me out of the house
Secretly, for the same reason.
Because he’s a bigot
And I’m a faggot.
Toxic masculinity.
Anger and I have been well acquainted
Since our government has taken it upon itself
To revoke my rights to my own body.
My mom pleaded that I “don’t understand.”
She voted for Trump
Because of the murderous immigrants
Portrayed by Fox News-
A menace and apparent danger.
All of the AFAB people in the country
Echoed in my response, screaming,
“If I were to start bleeding
From the cysts in my ovaries
Caused by microplastics and malnourishment-
The havoc this country’s lack of regulations wreaked on my body-
They would let me bleed out and die.
Too afraid of the law
Of an impossible, hypothetical bundle of cells
That my body and disabled mind
Are entirely unable to support,
They
Would let
Me DIE!”
She said it was too much for her and she left.
If only she knew we wept for her too.
Internalized misogyny.
Our country, which in some parts
Has deemed public drag performances
“Sex crimes against children”
Punishable by death with an 8-4 vote.
It could mean prison,
It could mean a $10,000 fine
To fucking pee in a restroom.
Or in my experience, living in Texas
Receiving daily gawking and glaring
In response to my dyed hair
and metal face adornments.
Our country, which is aiding in the destruction
Of the Palestinian people,
Who doesn’t even have
Any means to protect themselves.
Israel boasts about their massive ego,
Their ability to eliminate defenseless families,
To incinerate children and hospitals-
In the name of what? Power.
How the fuck is that a war?
Our country,
Dehumanizing immigrants.
Heartlessly tearing apart families,
While shamelessly using those that make it through
For cheap labor
Might as well save a few dimes
In the meantime…
The land of the free.
Our country,
Whose police are modeled after the slave patrol
From the seventeen fucking hundreds.
Targeting people of color
To cushion the prisons with free labor
For the companies that own us.
Legalized slavory.
Stripping autonomy.
White supremacy.
Our country,
Who allows large corporations
To make life unaffordable.
Driven by greed,
We are no longer people,
But dollar signs to the 1%
Groceries.
Hospital bills.
A roof to sleep under.
Taxes that go toward what?
Not us,
Not our health,
Not our quality of life
Nope.
Billions sent to kill innocent people.
The spirit of patriotism.
Our country, which takes rights away
From people with disabilities,
Paying them hardly enough to survive
Certainly not enough to thrive
Limiting their options to the point
To where they aren’t seen as valid citizens,
But as gum in the gears of the machine.
I have been hospitalized three times
In two years.
Stupefied in the gaslight of functionality.
Wanting to die because
I couldn’t do what everyone insisted that I could do.
Systemic oppression.
If you can’t produce,
You are not a person.
Our country that profits off the poor
And uses them for all the jobs no one wants to do
Paid only in pennies
Unable to save.
Swallowing so much debt
We fear we’ll die delinquent.
73% of us do.
Sweet treats are a luxury
We aren’t meant to afford,
And if you spend $7 on a dopamine boost
Or Heavenly Father above,
Buy anything brand new,
You don’t deserve that third meal.
While we’re at it,
Buying things you need is a luxury, too.
I can’t breathe.
If I can’t enjoy life, what’s the point of living?
I am not an angry person
I am a person who has been wronged,
Living in a country
That constantly commits atrocities and runs on injustice
Elevating the lives of the rich, cis, white, male archetype
While forcing everyone else down.
I’m sick of patriarchy
I’m sick of racism
I’m sick of transphobia and homophobia
I’m sick of being sick and not having healthcare
I’m sick of having to depend on hardly available government programs
We are dying, and the people in power,
The complacent, glossy-eyed, ignorant middle-class zombies
Are “color blind” and so focused on instant gratification
That there could be fire in the streets
And they would blame us for our anger.
I am not an angry person.
But I sure am fucking angry.
